I don't really know why I'm feeling such pressure at this very moment, but I am. Mostly, it's the pressure I put on myself, although if I'm being honest, some of it stems from my perception of what other people think. The logical side of my brain tells me I'm being stupid, the only things that should matter are my own personal goals, my partnership with Alex and that when it comes to horses nothing is easy.
"I can't tell you what it really is, I can only tell you what it feels like..." -- Eminem
The emotional side of my brain has tinges of insecurity.
At times it feels like those outside sources are pushing... why is it that if I talk about challenging situations, I must be frustrated? I'm not frustrated, I'm patient, understanding and above all, realistic. I've ridden my entire life, but I'm not a professional (I did come from one, but that doesn't count).
All I can do is keep trying to move forward, no matter what obstacles we meet, Alex and I have to get through/over them together. Although situations like what we faced last night are frustrating (especially when my planning brain had a completely different agenda), they are learning experiences and we just have to deal with them and move on. I count last night as a success, because it could have been SO much worse.
Maybe I need earplugs.
My husband is always reminding me not to be so hard on myself - maybe it is a personality trait of equestrians. Possibly we all tend to be type A. I can sympathize - you are not alone!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Kelly: I think we all have a tendency to be type As! You are definitely not alone. I love working towards a goal, but at the same time I've made a point to enjoy each ride and try to live in the moment. I get frustrated otherwise. It does help to take some of that pressure off. I love this quote: "It is good to have an end to journey toward, but it is the journey that matters, in the end." - Ernest Hemingway. :)
ReplyDeleteI can relate. I put the most pressure on myself. You are certainly not alone.
ReplyDeleteThanks ladies, you have no idea how much I appreciate your comments. At times, I really do feel like I'm alone, it's nice to know that I am not!
ReplyDeleteI completely know this feel, and a lot of it was real and not imagined pressure. I think its a good reminder that progress is only made in small increments and that if the whole process is no longer fun you need to reassess the situation. Big hugs and you'll figure it out.
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